Saving Kittens Avengers-Style
by I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain
Summary: Instances in which the Avengers save cats that have gotten stuck in trees. (Featuring all six Avengers, as well as Loki, Nick Fury, the Winter Soldier, Quicksilver, and the Scarlet Witch.) Rated T for mild language.


**Don't think too much about any sort of continuity. These are simply random instances where each of the Avengers (as well as Loki, Nick Fury, the Winter Soldier, Quicksilver, and the Scarlet Witch) rescue cats that have gotten stuck in trees. **

**I do not own these characters, nor do I own a cat. This is for entertainment purposes only =^.^=**

* * *

**The Hulk**

New York was being attacked, and the Hulk was smashing the puny robots.

They swarmed around the skyscrapers. They swarmed into the park.

Hulk followed them.

"NO!" a voice cried. "KITTEN!"

The Hulk stopped.

There was a girl, standing in front of a tree. She glanced at the robots, then back to the tree.

"Kitten! Get down—we've got to go!"

"Kitty?" Hulk asked.

The girl looked up at the green rage monster with huge eyes. Frightened eyes.

She looked desperately back into the tree.

Hulk lumbered over. There was a small animal in the tree. A cat.

The girl gave a cry of terror and stumbled away.

"Kitty," Hulk said.

The cat hissed, backing up against the trunk.

Hulk reached out with a large green hand and (as gently as he could) cupped the cat in his palm.

He took a step towards the girl, but she shrieked.

Hulk stopped. "Kitty," he said, setting the cat down on the ground. "Safe."

The girl looked at him.

"Safe," Hulk repeated. "Go somewhere safe."

Then he bounded off to smash more robots.

* * *

**Iron Man**

The Avengers were fighting a crazy sorcerer in New York, when Iron Man got sucked into some sort of dimensional portal. It was purple.

And then Tony was tumbling out of a purple portal in midair, and as his thrusters kicked into gear and he turned around to fly back through the portal, it closed with a purple-sounding burp.

"Great," Tony said sarcastically, as he turned to survey his surroundings. "Please tell me I'm still on Earth. Hopefully in the same universe."

But... there were no New York skyscrapers. There were just very, very big trees. Sequoiadendron giganteum, to be exact. Huge trees.

"Definitely not on the East Coast anymore," he remarked. "This is California, right?"

"_Indeed, Sir,"_ Jarvis stated.

"Are we in the same universe?" Tony asked.

"_Yes, Sir." _

"The same time? Same day? Same year?" Tony inquired.

"_I believe so, Sir." _

"What is it with all your Sir-ing," Tony muttered, as he hovered, slowly turning into a circle. "I swear you over-Sir me when you're annoyed with me. But I swear this was not in any way my fault! Just have to get back to New York... damn, we're probably not gonna make it in time to make the end of the battle. Which way's the ocean? We'll fly in the opposite direction."

"_Sir," _Jarvis said, _"There seems to be a mild disturbance below." _

"What?" Tony said, glancing down to see a small crowd gathered at the base of one of the giant sequoias. "You mean the tourists?"

He flew down closer, to hear a woman crying, "Somebody get him down!"

"Whoa there," Iron Man said, swinging in to hover just above the ground, holding out his hands placatingly. "What's going on here?"

"It's Edward!" the lady sobbed. "Edward's stuck up in the tree!"

"What?" Tony asked, turning to look where she pointed. "How did—oh. Is Edward the cat? How the hell did a cat get up in a giant sequoia?! And what kind of a name is Edward? Isn't that the werewolf in that Twilight book? Or was Edward the vampire?"

"I don't know what happened," the lady said hysterically. "I was just sitting in a camper holding Edward when there was, was like this purple _blip _and the world went all funny, and then I was standing out here and Edward was... he's..."

"Calm down, I have this," Tony said, shooting up and plucking the fluffy white cat out of the tree where he was sitting on one of the large branches, looking about as confused as a cat could possibly look.

"Meow," the cat complained, sounding about as confounded as a cat could possibly sound.

"You and me, pal," Tony told the cat, "are thinking the exact same thing."

"_And what might that be, Sir?" _Jarvis inquired.

"Damn those purple portals."

* * *

**Thor**

"Thor!" the boy said, running up and tugging on the Thunderer's red cape. "Thor, I need your help!"

"Aye, lad," Thor said, grinning down the small boy, who happened to be wearing one of Stark's patented Thor shirts. "How may I be of assistance?"

"The battle scared my cat," the boy said earnestly. "And he ran off and got himself stuck up in a tall tree and I can't get him down."

The other Avengers could wait a few more moments for him to convene at their place of meeting, Thor figured, so he followed the boy to the tree the boy's cat was stuck in.

It was a fluffy orange tabby, clinging to a high branch of a tall but slender tree. Thor couldn't climb it, and he couldn't fly up there to grab the cat because his flight required that he twirl his hammer and launch himself quickly, and he might injure the small mortal animal, and when he was able to hover it was always accompanied by atmospheric effects.

So Thor simply grabbed the trunk of the tree and tore it out of the ground.

The young boy's mouth was a perfect O as Thor tilted the tree parallel to the ground so the boy could reach up and pull the orange tabby from the branches, before Thor stuck the tree back into the hole he'd ripped it from. The Thunder God treated the tree as if it was no heavier than cardboard box.

"Whoa," the boy said. He stared stunned for a moment, before he broke out in a huge grin. "That was epic!"

"Meow," protested the ruffled cat.

* * *

**Hawkeye**

Clint stared at the tree.

He stared at the black and white cat that was stuck in the tree.

Then he stared at the tree some more.

Of course, this only lasted for a few minutes. But there was a family relying on him to get their cat down, and though Clint considered it very stupid for the cat to climb up the tree if it wouldn't be able to climb back down, he felt obliged to help. It wasn't like he had anything better to do at the moment, as it was.

But figuring out how to get the cat down was proving a slightly (key word there being _slightly) _challenging problem, as though Clint was good at climbing, this tree simply had no branches for the first thirty or so feet.

The cat had gotten up with its claws. But Clint didn't have claws.

He just had arrows.

He could practically feel the lightbulb light up above his head as he grinned and took a few steps back, whipping out his bow and pulling an arrow from his quiver, knocking it onto the string and then pulling it back, releasing it so the arrow embedded itself in the trunk.

More arrows buried themselves into the wood, all the way up the trunk up to the lowest branch, where the cat was perched with its black and white tail twitching anxiously.

Using the arrows as handholds and footholds, Clint quickly climbed up the trunk, reaching the branch where the cat was.

Only, the cat moved away from him.

"Hey, get back here!" Clint muttered irritably, crawling out onto the branch after the cat.

The branch got narrower. And narrower. Clint grabbed the cat.

"Ha! Gotcha!" he grinned.

Then he looked down. "Uh," he said to the family below, "I know you called me to get your cat and all... and now that I have... you wanna call someone to get _me _down?"

"You're kidding," a teenage boy said from below.

"Yeah, I am," Clint said, as he crept back along the branch, and easily climbed back down his arrow-holds, holding the cat with one arm. "How could you tell?"

* * *

**Black Widow**

Natasha Romanoff was quite possibly the most dangerous woman in the world.

She was a deadly assassin. She was a mighty Avenger.

And apparently she was also a Savior of Lost Kittens.

How that kitten had gotten 'lost' though was completely beyond her, as it was the most vocal cat she had ever come across.

"Meow!" cried the Siamese kitten, from where it was clinging to the top of a tall palm tree. "Mrow! Meeoooooooow!"

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming," Natasha said, as she began shimmying up the tree. She scampered up it like a squirrel, quick and graceful.

"Mrrrrrrowwwww!" the kitten cried.

Natasha reached the kitten, picking it up with one hand and placing it on her shoulder. "Stay," she commanded, as she began shimmying back down the trunk.

"Mrow," the cat said, walking around on her shoulders, nuzzling into her hair, talking into her ear. "Meow. Meow meow meow meow meow—"

"Shush," Natasha ordered.

The cat rubbed its dark face against her cheek, blinking its blue eyes. "Mew. Mew mew mew."

Natasha sighed, leaping off from the tree and jumping down the last several feet, landing in a crouch.

"Come on, now," she said, reaching up to take the cat off her shoulder. "Your owner is worried."

"Mrow!" the kitten said, burrowing its sleek body deeper into her long red hair. "Meoooow."

"_Black Widow, status," _came Steve's voice over the com in her ear.

"Mrowow!" the kitten yowled, startled.

Natasha winced. "Fine here, Cap. Area secured."

"_Good. Meet back at the rendezvous point in three." _

"It might take me a couple extra minutes," Natasha said, crinkling her nose as she reached up to try to untangle the kitten from her hair. "I, uh, have to get something out of my hair first. Literally."

"_What's in your hair?" _came Clint's voice.

"A cat," Natasha stated coolly. The authenticity of this statement was proved to the others when they heard a lot of meowing was audible over the com.

"_Oh man," _Tony chuckled. _"I wish I could be there to see your deadpan as you said that. You've got the best straight face in comical situations. Hey though, I thought it was bats that were supposed to get stuck in people's hair, not cats." _

"Shut up, Stark," Natasha said, finally managing to pull the struggling Siamese from her red tresses, as it mrowed loudly. "It's a kitten."

"_So it's bat-sized. Got it."_

* * *

**Captain America**

The Avengers had been fighting a villain with a huge flame-thrower, who had managed to catch the town on fire. Of course.

Thor made it start raining—correction: Thor made it start _pouring. _The sky just opened up and started dumping buckets of water. Which put the fire out, but also got everyone completely soaked.

Except for Thor. Because for some reason he didn't seem to get wet.

But Captain America was saturated.

And so were all the cats, that had gotten scared by the fire and had all decided to climb up the tallest tree in the town, and they were all perched up there in the branches like a flock of flightless, furry birds, soaking wet and refusing to come down.

All the other Avengers were busy. But the townspeople wanted their cats down safely, and Captain America was right there.

Steve sighed, turning his gaze up the large pine tree. It was big, with lots of large branches that circled around the trunk, in a sort of spiral.

And it was full of cats. Their eyes shone yellow in the dim light, their tails twitched.

The lowest branch was about ten feet up, and Steve jumped up and grabbed it, swinging himself up into the tree, clambering gracefully through the spiraling ladder of branches.

"Come on, kitties," he told the disgruntled, drenched cats, their amber and gold and green and blue eyes all trained on him. "Do you want to get down? Because I'm here to get you all down."

Their fur was plastered to their bodies, and they mewed at him, irritably, pitifully.

He started gathering them up, and they climbed all over him, digging their nails into his suit.

When he climbed back down, he was completely covered in cats. They were all over him—his chest, his back, his arms, his shoulders, his head, even clinging to his pants. There were a couple kittens perched on the top of his boots.

The cats wouldn't let go of him.

"Um," he said, as the townspeople stared. "Could you guys help get these cats off of me?"

* * *

**Loki**

"Why?" Loki asked.

"Because Sir Night is stuck up in the tree!" the little girl told him, crossing her arms.

"Why are you asking _me _to get your cat down?" Loki said, gesturing his green and black leathers and impressive gold horned helmet. "I'm _Loki._ The God of _Mischief._"

"Exactly," the little girl said. She was blond-haired and blue-eyed. Like Thor. And apparently stubborn like Thor, too. "You have powers. You can get Sir Night down."

"And why can't your cat get down by himself?" Loki asked, exasperated, rolling his green eyes upwards.

"Because he's scared!"

"Why?"

"Because he's high up!"

"So?"

"He has a fear of heights!"

"Then why did he climb up the tree in the first place?"

"Ugh!" the young girl said, stamping her foot and glaring up at him. "You're just wasting our time. Are you going to get my cat down or not?!"

Loki just looked at her. "Why should I?"

"Why _not?!" _she snapped, spreading her arms out. "You're a superhero, aren't you? Aren't you an Avenger now?"

"Well," Loki drawled, "I'm not _technically _an Avenger..."

"But you consider yourself a superhero, now?" she said with a raised eyebrow. "Or do you still consider yourself a supervillain?"

Loki frowned at her for a moment. Then he broke into a large, mischievous smile. "Nah," he said, "I consider myself someone who likes to annoy people. And besides, it will take less than a minute to get your cat down, but I had a whole five minutes to waste."

And with that, dark claws grew from the tips of Loki's fingers and pierced through the leather of his boots from his toes, a black tail appeared and swished around his coattails, and black, pointed ears poked up from his black hair.

A leap and a bound and Loki was streaking up the tree with his claws biting into the thick bark, all feline strength and grace.

The black cat visibly calmed down when Loki reached him, letting the Mischief God stroke his fur and purring, climbing up Loki's arm to rest around his shoulders.

Loki climbed down the tree headfirst like an animal, leaping down to the ground once he reached the lowest branch, landing in a crouch, before standing and handing the purring black cat over to its owner.

"Thank you," the girl smiled, hugging her cat. She looked at Loki. "Will you be my cat for a day?" she asked.

When Loki smiled, his teeth were sharp and feline. "Sorry, the five minutes I needed to kill are up."

A flash of green light, and the Mischief God was gone.

When he reappeared at the Avengers' determined rendezvous point, Tony greeted, "Hey, it's Lokitty!"

Clint grinned, petting his soft, black ears.

Loki hissed at him.

* * *

**Nick Fury**

Fury sighed.

There was a stupid damn cat. Stuck in a stupid damn tree. And there was an old cat lady begging him to get the stupid damn cat out of the stupid damn tree.

"You shouldn't have let the animal out in the first place," he told the lady gruffly.

Fury started to walk away, but Phil caught up with him.

"You can figure out how to save the world from an alien invasion," Phil said. "But you can't figure out how to get a cat down out of a tree?"

Fury stopped walking and turned to look at the agent, his black coat swishing around his calves.

"Agent Coulson," Fury said, "I did not figure out how to save the world from an alien invasion. I simply got together the people who could get the job done."

Then he sighed, glancing back at the old woman and the stupid damn cat stuck in the stupid damn tree, and pulled out his cellphone.

"I'll call the Fire Department."

* * *

**The Winter Soldier**

The Soldier didn't walk through the city—he stalked, he skulked, he crept, he padded, he lurked, he glided, moving like a cat through the shadows. Silent.

From dark alleys he found his way to a park, slick with dark shade that pooled beneath the branches, collected droplets from the darkening evening sky.

A noise.

He paused, completely still. A statue.

"Come on, Buddy. Get down out of that tree already! Bad kitty, escaping out the door when nobody was looking..."

The Soldier moved on feline-quiet feet, weaving through the trees till he found the source of the voice.

It was a just a young boy. Not a danger. Not a threat.

The Soldier turned to leave—but not before he'd seen that the boy was standing there with his arms crossed, looking up at a tortoiseshell kitten that was perched up on a high branch.

Something flashed through the Soldier's mind.

"_Hey, hey Buck! Wait!"_

"_What?" Bucky said, turning to look at Steve. "We're gonna be late for our dates."_

"_But the lady needs our help," Steve said, gesturing to the old woman who was standing by a tree, trying to coax her cat down._

_Bucky sighed. "Really, Steve," he said. "It's just a cat. It'll come down on its own eventually. It's just being stupid, is all."_

_Steve set his jaw in that stubborn way of his, and Bucky groaned. There would be no arguing with Steve now. _

"_You go on, then," Steve said, turning and walking towards the old lady. "I'll catch up." _

"_Dammit Steve," Bucky grumbled. "You're just gonna hurt yourself. Besides, you're allergic to cats." _

_Steve was examining the tree, trying to figure out how to climb up and get the cat, telling the woman that it would be alright. _

_Giving an exasperated sigh, Bucky sauntered over. _

_He ended up climbing the tree and bringing down the cat. _

"_Thank you," the old lady said, hugging the cat and rubbing her face in its fur. "Thank you so much." _

"_Don't thank me," Bucky snorted. He jerked a thumb at the skinny blond who was standing next to him. "Thank him. He's the one who insisted we help. I woulda just walked on by."_

The Soldier hesitated a moment too long, and the boy saw him.

"Hey," the young boy called. "Hey you, Mr. Tall, Dark and Buff, could you come over here and help get my cat down?"

So the Soldier ended up stepping completely out of the shadows, climbing up the tree swiftly and easily and bringing down the kitten, held in his right hand.

The cat was soft. Warm. Small, he could feel its ribs through its fur. It reminded him of Steve.

"Thank you," said the boy, hugging the kitten to his chest and rubbing his face in the tortoiseshell fur.

"Don't thank me," the Soldier said. His voice was gruff.

"No, really," the boy said. "Thank you."

The Soldier slipped back into the shadows, the most dangerous assassin in the world having just rescued a cat from a tree, and he had absolutely no idea why.

* * *

**Quicksilver**

Pietro was running across the United States, when a distressed cry caught his attention.

"Mittens! Come down!"

There was a young boy, blond, no older than seven, standing at the base of a large maple tree, looking up into the branches. He sounded on the verge of tears. "Come down!"

"What's wrong?"

Startled, the young boy looked up to see an older teen with tousled dark hair. His running shoes were bright blue.

The boy pointed up at the tree, where Pietro spotted a gray tabby with white paws clutching one of the high branches, fur puffed up and amber eyes wide. "My ca—" the boy started.

The branches of the tree rustled.

"—t is..." the boy stumbled over his words as he suddenly the found himself holding his gray tabby, the animal warm and soft in his arms."Stuck..."

"That cat?" Pietro asked innocently, eyebrows raising in confusion.

The boy glanced down at his cat again, which nuzzled its head gratefully under his chin, before looking back up at—nothing.

The strange teen with the messy dark hair and the bright blue running shoes was gone.

* * *

**Scarlet Witch**

"Can you get my cat down?" the young girl begged, looking up with large hazel eyes. "Please?"

Wanda chewed on her lip as she glanced up with dark eyes at the large tree. There was a cat, white with black and orange splotches, crouching with its claws dug firmly in the course bark.

The cat was up near the top of the tree, and the lowest branch was still several meters above Wanda's head of straight, dark hair. She brushed a strand out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

"I don't know..." she said slowly, sticking her hands in her jean pockets, shifting her weight uncomfortably. "I'm not that good at climbing..." She had magic, of course, but her powers were still unpredictable—she didn't have complete control.

"_Please?" _the young girl asked, choking back a sob. "Patches has been up there for _hours _and she won't come down..."

Sighing, Wanda brought her hands out of her pockets. "I just..." she said, making a small gesture. "I don't know how... and she'll probably come down on her own eventually. "

_Good luck, _Wanda thought intensely as she made another gesture. _Good luck good luck good luck... _

A raven gave a rough call, flapping big and black out of the sky to land with heavy fluttering of wings on the same branch as the cat.

Startled, the cat gave a frightened meow and bolted down the trunk of the tree.

"Patches!" the young girl said in delight, picking the cat up in her arms and smoothing it's ruffled fur. "You came down!"

"See?" Wanda said, half-smile on her lips. "Guess you got a stroke of good luck."

* * *

**After writing all the Avengers saving cats, I just couldn't help but write the others... X3 ****I really hope it was enjoyable! I feel pretty out of practice writing Humor, so I don't know how funny it actually was...  
**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts!**


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